Thorns, Warts and All

I know there are at least a few men who are following my blog, and I truly appreciate your interest and your support.   I realize there are going to be topics I cover that hold little interest to you, or that just make no sense to you, or – potentially – could offend you in some way.  If that is the case, I apologize as that is not at all my intention.  Since this is a blog that is dedicated to telling the truth about, and celebrating, what it is like to be Real Women in our very Real world, you men are of course a large part of it…. therefore there are times when you may very well be one of the subjects to be discussed.   Please look at these subject explorations not as criticisms.  Rather, think of it more as an education for you in how you are representing yourself to over half the population.

All that said…. I have two topics today regarding the men in our lives.

First:  Men and PMS.  I’m not talking about OUR pms, I’m talking about how they apparently suffer from it themselves.  I’m not sure why this happens, nor why it seems to happen in time with our own cycles.  I know when women live together, or near each other, our cycles can run in sync.  Is it possible that men’s hormones could be affected by ours as well?   All I know is that quite often, if not monthly, but at least quarterly, the men in our lives will exhibit the same ugly characteristics we are famous for during our “time of the month.”   They are irritable, short-tempered, have low levels of patience, low energy, and complain of aches and pains.  Even more surprising, is that these creatures who are normally after us constantly for physical attention may suddenly “turn off” with no interest and roll over in grumpy-tired mode to go to sleep.  Truly – they exhibit the exact same traits that we get in trouble for.

I have no big gripe about occasional mood swings and bad days. We all have them. But when men’s pms kicks in, it is invariably when we are already coping with our own – and yet we still have to help them through their issues because what coping skills they may have had, have now flown out the window.  We carry on through our cramps, headaches, back aches, faulty memory issues and low energy.  Men on the other hand seem to shut down, and assume the rest of the world will be fine with that.   I don’t think I’ve shut down in at least 40 years.  Perhaps I’m just jealous.

Second:  BFF – Bodily Function Fascination.  Bodily functions, especially noisy ones, are a source of wonderment, pride and immense humor to males of all ages.  If I remember back far enough to my dating years, guys do seem capable of holding back on unpleasant noises and activities such as belching and passing gas in order to impress a woman about how much of a gentleman they can be .  But once they reach that comfort level – either from long-term courtship or marriage, they let it fly  — and with great glee.

I just don’t get it.  Why are BF’s fun to them and not disgusting?  Why does it happen so frequently and with such gusto?  Why is it not embarrassing to them?  We women will do whatever we can to avoid emitting certain unbecoming issues in front of others.  But not so with men.  This all starts at a young age.  Boys find certain BF’s completely hysterical and will have competitions,  comparisons and discussions with friends about them.  It can even serve as bonding moments between fathers and sons.

It does no good as Real Women to complain, attempt to change their diets, or threaten to hold back favors.  It won’t change the fact that apparently within the very core of their beings lays BFF.  Our only choice is to turn a blind eye, ear and nose to this, and focus instead on commisserating with OUR version of BFF’s.

For without our girlfriends and the other Real Women in our lives, we would never have the patience to accept these characteristics in our men and continue to believe our fairy tales that somewhere under those froggy exteriors are a few Princes.


About Real Women

A "real woman" mom, wife, worker, friend, sister, daughter....
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