I realize there is a strong irony in my timing of this post. A mere 5 days since my vacation and my last post regarding deleting mind pollution, and the fact it is Valentine’s Day and I should be talking about happy cute things like hearts and cupids. Well….guess what…. this blog is about Real Women. The good, the bad and the ugly — right?
There are times in all Real Women’s lives when we have let far too much pile up on top of us and we reach Tilt.
Perhaps you have had a string of bad news or challenging and frustrating events. Or you are trying to cope with unusual circumstances… or, most likely, you are being the female version of Atlas and are carrying the world on your shoulders. No matter how much we may subscribe to the theories of simplifying our lives, or taking moments for meditation, or attempting to stick to our core principals of not sweating the small stuff – at some point it all just piles up too high, too much. And we either turn into mean nasty bitches who take out our frustrations on those close to us, or we have complete meltdowns and start sobbing like children.
It is time we start admitting this happens rather than hiding it. No, I don’t mean stand up on your desk at work and yell “I’m going to have a meltdown now!”….. but I believe in my heart that by confiding in your personal Board of Directors, or a few carefully chosen sisters or BFF’s about how you are feeling, they will not only commiserate but completely understand. And they won’t be scared by tears. My dear loving husband over the years has learned how to best cope with my Tilt moments. He knows to let me get it all out, vent, cry, rant, whatever, and give me a hug. And I am immensely appreciative of it. But truly, no matter how hard they try, men don’t completely “get” why we women get to this point. Other women do, and we know it is ok.
I do have to admit that I’m pretty much at one of those meltdown points myself – or at least I was on my way home tonight. As is always the case, for me it isn’t because of one particular thing, it is the “pile it on until I’m exhausted, worn out, cranky and overwhelmed” process – and in a way, I’m my own worst enemy. Work is extremely busy and not-so-fun right now, and I’m letting it stress me out. I’m being pulled in several directions in my personal life to the point that just hearing a voice mail from my brother about something else he needs has me swearing like a truck driver to myself in my car. Because of my busy schedule, I’m not fitting in as much exercise as usual, and that has me on edge. I’m missing my friends and family. Then add in something fun like a broken tooth that the dentist cheerfully told me will require the installation of a crown, and BLAM – I’m on tilt mode.
There are some important things we need to take into consideration when we reach our meltdown levels. First, we are not lesser, or weak, humans because of it. If anything, it shows the incredible strength we have to balance our daily lives. There is not something “wrong” with us. We are normal Real Women. And, unless we have reached a point where we feel this way for extended periods of time or at long-term intolerable levels, we don’t need to run off and start taking valium and Prozac. What we need to do is cut ourselves some slack. And take these moments as signs that something needs to change. It is time to take stock, and figure out how to lighten our loads or change our course. Life is far too short and too valuable to spend it feeling this way. We especially need to have faith that “this too shall pass”, and it will get better.
And, miraculously, it will. The cloud will lift, some things will change, and we RW’s will once again emerge strong and happy. In the meantime, it is vital to take immediate steps for short-term repair work. After a good cry or rant, take your dog for a walk….or get on a treadmill and plug great music into your ears…or go soak in a bubble bath with a trashy romance novel. Do anything to find some time alone and escape reality. It won’t solve all your problems, but it will make you feel better for a little while – and it will give you just enough energy to get up again tomorrow and face a new day.
Well said Marjorie. Being a single mom I feel like that quite often. Oh, and MLH would stand on her deSk and shout. LOL.
It’s true, sometimes you just have to give yourself the freedom to choose ‘you time’. Women are so good at taking everything on and so bad at asking for help when it’s too much.
February seems to be a pretty reliable month for me to careen into tilt mode. And sure enough, that’s where I find myself. It will pass, but it’s important to acknowledge it, I agree.