In the labyrinth that we navigate every day, there are a myriad of twists and turns. At each bend or intersection, there are decisions to be made. Unlike the board game of Life, real life doesn’t give us a colorful wheel to spin and cards to tell us what to do. When it comes to the big decisions in life, about relationships, family, careers, finances and home, I’ve often thought it would be tremendously handy to have that pile of cards to give us direction. How often have any of us in frustration thought “I wish there was someone who could just tell me what to do!”
Alas, that is not the way it goes, and we must do our own research, weigh the pro’s and con’s, and make our own decisions, hoping for the best. For the most part, we come out ok. We make the big choices and move on. However, as real women, there are about a million little decisions and choices we make every day. We have ongoing narratives in our heads about even the most seemingly trivial matters in life. Men don’t seem to have as much of an issue. For them, their decisions are mostly based on a) what they want to do, and b) what won’t make their wife or partner angry. But for us women? We have to analyze the dickens out of everything, as if we have those proverbial little spirits, the angel and devil, hanging out on our shoulders and whispering in our ears.
Let’s look at a few examples of how some of these internal dialogues go:
- Should I push the snooze alarm, or get up? I’m so tired, maybe just a few more minutes. But then I’ll probably fall back to sleep even harder, and it will be worse when the alarm goes off again. Plus those 9 minutes will mess up my whole morning routine. Oh, but this bed feels so good…
- I want those cute new boots. I don’t need new boots. Well, I kind of do, because those would go great with a couple of my outfits. I shouldn’t spend the money. But that is a pretty darn good price. Then after purchase: Do I tell my husband about what a great deal I got? Or do I sneak these into the closet and pretend they’ve been there all along?
- Gotta go to workout. I’ll feel so much better. Ugh, it is so dark and cold out, I just want to go home and wrap up in a blanket and watch TV. But then I’ll feel like a schlub. These ten pounds aren’t going to magically melt off on their own. Come on, get your butt moving. Do I have to?
- That’s it, I’m done with this extra weight. Time to get back on the diet. Knock out those sweets, bulk up on the veggies and fiber… you know you feel so much better when you are eating right. Wait, did someone just suggest pizza for lunch? Wow, that would taste awesome right now…after all, life is short. No, got get a glass of water and an apple instead. My body is my temple. Hmmm, winter is coming, I have a craving for comfort food. I should bake some brownies tonight.
- My partner and I haven’t had playtime in a while…I really should make it happen tonight. Oh, geez, that means I should shave…and I was really looking forward to reading before bed…and I’m exhausted. But it is kind of like going to the gym, once I get there I’ll be glad I did. But look, my favorite ugly old jammies are clean and waiting for me..
- This outfit? Or that one? Maybe if I add a scarf.. no, too much. How about a jacket? Wait, does this make me look frumpy now? Ok, change again. Add some heels…now I look like I’m trying too hard. Back to the first outfit. Maybe I should just go out in my sweats.
Remarkably, we all are able to come to some conclusions on each of these mini life choices in a matter of minutes. Which is a good thing, because there will be ten more decisions to make at the next bend in life’s road. Perhaps it was easier when we were babies and all decisions were made for us…or, perhaps it would be easier if we were men and didn’t question every move we make. But really, wouldn’t that just take all the fun out of it?