But wait, I’m not done yet!

Posted on August 18, 2012 by Real Women

Spring and Summer are my seasons.  I love the sun, the warmth, the long days, and being outside as many hours a day as possible.

Then every year, around the end of August, it happens. The days start to get shorter, the flowers in the gardens fade, my son gets ready to go back to school…and I start to feel a bit melancholy.  I want to yell “But wait!  I’m not done yet!”.  I feel a minor panic as if summer is ending before I’m ready, and I want to ask for just a little bit more time.  I’m sure if I lived in the southwest, I’d be ready to bid adieu to the scorching heat.  But as far as I’m concerned, in New England, summer is about a month too short.

And honestly, it isn’t all about the weather and the warm temps.  There is a relaxed, casual friendliness about summer.  There are vacations, bbq’s, pool and beach time… there is sitting out in the evenings talking until the fireflies come out.  We see more of friends, family and neighbors, and everyone seems just a bit more at ease.  All THAT is what I miss the most as summer fades away.

This weekend we had a shift in the air — by this afternoon the temps had dropped to about 79 degrees, the humidity disappeared and the sky was sunny and clear.  Absolutely perfect.  On amazing days like this, everything seems better. People are friendlier, chores seem less arduous, and even my dog is peppier.  I had to run a bunch of errands this afternoon, and I really didn’t mind — because it was a windows down, tunes cranked, wind-in-your-hair kind of day.  Even though as evening came and it cooled down even more, and I could practically taste the coming of autumn, it still felt great.  I stood outside in the sun, closed my eyes and took a deep breath — attempting to trap it inside, hoping that I can somehow conjure this perfection back up when I need it the most this winter.

Yes, there is a magic to every season, and having four seasons is one of the reasons I love this part of the country.  I will enjoy the crispness of fall and will make the best of the snowy, cold winter.  But before those days come, I’m going to squeeze every last drop I can out of these last summer days and will try to be a good role model for my son…..by not to throwing a temper tantrum when I change the calendar page to September.

 

 

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It’s always something

Posted on August 13, 2012 by Real Women

We have all at some point used that phrase “it’s always something.”   Indeed, it is rare to have a smooth, uneventful day.  We have hopes of sailing through our days — waking up, getting our kids off to childcare or school with no issues, having a productive work day, fitting in some sort of exercise, having a prompt yet healthy home-cooked meal, then spending the rest of the evening with family or friends, and getting to bed at a decent hour for a full nights sleep.

Sounds lovely.  And yet that simple schedule rarely happens.  Because…. “it’s always something”:

  • the babysitter cancels
  • your child gets sick
  • the car has to go into the shop — for the 5th time in a month
  • your computer crashes
  • a loved one has to go into the hospital or rehab center, and you are their main point of contact
  • the dog or cat has to go to the vet
  • something in the house breaks
  • your spouse suddenly has to go out of town
  • you’ve been called in last minute to substitute for a volunteer activity

and the list goes on…you get the idea.

We Real Women must take it all in stride. We become master jugglers.  We make sudden plans on the fly, changing schedules, setting up back-up child care, fitting in phone calls between meetings…. we keep all the balls in the air, careful to make sure nothing hits the floor.

I am lucky and I have an employer who is understanding and flexible so I can make some last minute changes to my schedule, or work from home for a few hours if necessary. But there are a lot of other Real Women out there who don’t have that option. If they don’t work, they don’t get paid…or they don’t have easy transportation at their disposal…or any number of challenges.  Yet somehow we all pull through.  At times with my posts, I have compared our lives to those of the rich and famous.  And I started wondering today what they do in any of these situations. Surely they run into them as well…after all, they are human. Do they have staff to handle inconveniences?  Certainly they don’t have to worry about missing a day of work… but do all of these little “things” cause them stress as well?

In the end, we work it all out, we keep all those balls in the air, and we hope tomorrow will be a bit smoother.  And you know what?  There are many folks out there with far bigger issues that they deal with every day. If these inconveniences are the worst of my problems, I am a lucky soul.  So if it really is “always something”, then good.  That just means I have a full life, and am blessed to be able to handle whatever comes my way.

Bring it on.  My juggling arms are ready.

 

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Have Bag, Will Travel

Posted on August 9, 2012 by Real Women

“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money“.

Ah, the lure of travel….the excitement of getting away….the promise of relaxation and vacation time.  It all sounds lovely, until you realize the one dreaded step you must take before venturing out:  packing.

There are those who travel so frequently that they have packing and preparation for departure down to a science.  Especially if you travel often for work, you may have a suitcase at the ready and partially packed at any moment.  You have a quick, efficient system for getting ready to head out at a moment’s notice.

However, for the rest of the population, especially those of us who are preparing to travel for leisure with family members, packing is a different story completely.  We must consider how long we will be gone, what the climate will be when we get there, what are the planned activities upon arrival, and of course, what mode of transportation we will be taking.  I am relieved any time we plan a road trip and will be taking our family’s large van.  Space and storage are not a problem, so the pressure of trying to be a minimalist disappears.  However, if flying, then the battle is to take the least amount of “stuff”, and make bags as light as possible.  I am always impressed by the women who can throw four outfits into a bag with two pairs of shoes and be set for two weeks.  I should be like that.  But I’m not.  Yes, it is true, I am an over-packer.

We all tackle the packing situation differently.  I am a planner by heart, so I will start several days in advance laying out clothing and other needs. If we are embarking on a camping trip, then our garage becomes my staging area for gear.  (p.s., camping seems to multiply your packing capacity by about 349%.)  I am also the one in our family to do the physical packing of items into bags, and then into the vehicle.  I go with the roll method for clothing, and I can pretty efficiently use every inch of available space in the car.  Every time I pack the car, I remember being mesmerized by the Avon Lady who would come visit my mother when I was a child. She had a fascinating carrying case with little compartments for each of her samples.  Every item had its place and she could fit an amazing array of product in one tote.  My goal is to be the Avon Lady of our packed vehicle.

Men generally have an all together different plan for packing.  It is generally known as the last minute “grab what is clean and comfortable, throw it in a bag and hope for the best”.   OR, they turn to the women in their lives for assistance.  My husband is heading out of town for a wedding, and last night we worked together to plan out his outfit for the event.  Tonight I may assist him with planning out his other items, and I will most likely be the one to pack his bag for him.  He is not incapable of doing it himself.  But if I get involved, he has a greater probability of arriving at his destination with the least amount of wrinkles and forgotten items.

Naturally, the more people you have joining in on your adventure, the more potentially stressful and problematic the packing can be.  As I type this post, my brother and his family are preparing for a week’s vacation. There will be five of them traveling together, three of them are teenage young men.  Part of their vacation will involve camping.  Besides the packing, which I imagine to be a bit like herding cats, they also must make arrangements for the pets in their lives to be cared for while they are gone.  And did I mention they are making their preparations in high heat and humidity?

Ah, yes…. The lure of the getaway…. and the exhaustion caused by the preparations.  Yet once you manage to get packed up, and get at least 30 minutes down the road, you finally reach that point where you can say “if we forgot anything, we’ll just get along without it” and you start to breathe and relax.  Just do yourself one favor – don’t even THINK about the unpacking you’ll have to face when you get home.

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The Cleavers or The Waltons

Posted on August 6, 2012 by Real Women

I grew up in a “Leave it to Beaver” kind of household.  Sure, we had our share of unique issues, but overall we were the stereotypical wholesome all-American family.  Parents in a long-term marriage, two boys, two girls, we all got along remarkably well and still have extremely strong bonds. We grew up in fresh country air, and our house was the safe, stable welcome-haven for friends and strangers alike.  We traveled together as a family unit on vacations and to visit relatives.  Holidays looked like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

By contrast, my husband’s family is a blended & extended one.  Put another way, their family tree has more than one trunk, lots of branches, roots and off-shoots.  When I first started dating him, I would ask him to tell me about his family…and he kept replying “not yet.”  Finally, around date number six or so, he finally acquiesced and said “ok, but you better get out a piece of paper and a pencil.”   At our wedding, after we took the quaint photo of my family and relatives in attendance, it was time to call up my groom’s side of the family.  The photographer quite literally had to take steps back and put the wide-angle lens on his camera.

This past weekend, we hosted a gathering of approximately a dozen or so of my husband’s family members.  Ranging in age from 2 to 61, we had what is becoming now an annual tradition of a pool party to just connect and have fun.  We try to get as many parts of the family together as possible, depending on who’s available at the time.  The one commen thread throughout the family (well, for the most part anyway) was my father-in-law.  Unfortunately, he is no longer with us to straighten out any confusion on who’s related to who and how.  But I will tell you that the best parts of these gatherings are the stories that will live on forever.  Everytime we are together, we each learn something new, hear some stories yet untold.  Even siblings learn new things about each other.  I think the best quote of the whole weekend was “we aren’t sure about her… she’s either my sister or my cousin.”

And truly, that is one of the most endearing things about this group… exact “status” of the relation isn’t really important… it doesn’t matter if they are step-siblings, in-laws, half-siblings, etc…. they are just plain sisters and brothers in each other’s eyes.  Aunts, Uncles, cousins and grandparents are just that.  No second-this or once-removed-that.  And no matter how long it has been since the last time someone has been in touch with someone else, the get-together is full of fun and laughter.

I think a remarkable benefit of blended & extended families is their inherent flexibility and acceptance.  When I first got to know them, it took literally no time at all before they welcomed me, a June Cleaver, into the mix.  A few years ago, after one of the first times we got together with a large crowd at my sister-in-law’s house, as we were leaving, my son said with an exhausted smile “Mommy, your family is fun.  But daddy’s family is crazy… in a good way.”

I think that is truly the key. It doesn’t matter what kind of family structure, size, or make-up we are part of.  What matters is that we show our kids how families love unconditionally, are there for each other, know how to have fun together, and most of all, help them create amazing memories that will become good stories to pass along to future generations.

 

 

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Stamp of Approval

Posted on August 3, 2012 by Real Women

I received an email ad from a clothing store that proclaimed to me:

“Supermodel Essentials!  Supermodel-approved hoodies, shorts and pants for every girl on the go.”

Whew, FINALLY — I’ve been just waiting for a line of clothes that have the stamp of approval from beautiful 6’ tall, 102-pound young women to fit into my wardrobe.

Ok, so you can probably tell which company it is by the text.  And you can also tell that they are certainly not targetting me as the average demographic for their shoppers.  They are shooting for someone about 30 years younger than me.   But really – even for young women, is it realistic for them to think “oh, well, if it is good enough for a Supermodel, then it will be perfect for me and my way of life” ?

I would much rather see someone promote clothing for realistic lifestyles….very few of us are supermodels running from one beach photo shoot to the next in our size 2 shorts.  The majority of us Real Women are trying to find something every morning that doesn’t need to be ironed, still looks good after being washed, fits well enough to make us look good and hide our imperfections, and something we can wear from home to the office to the grocery store on any given day.

Where, pray tell, are the ads that tout benefits like:

  • Busy working mom-approved
  • Look great and hide your belly during your next work presentation in this dress
  • No need to iron this shirt when you are running late
  • You won’t look like you are trying too hard to look young in this perfect outfit
  • Made with fabric that is beautiful yet pet-hair and child-puke reflectant

And even better, how about:

  •  These pants are so affordable and will fit so well you’ll buy 4 pairs

I am certainly one of those Real Women who once I find something that DOES work for me, I stick with it.  The other day I was getting changed to go for a walk at lunchtime, and I realized that everything I was wearing came from the same store.  Even my shoes.  And probably the jewelry as well.  Truth be told, probably 80% of my closet at this point comes from that store.  This may sound incredibly boring, but I usually shop at only about 3 different places for my clothing and accessories.  Why?  Because they are affordable, I like the styles, and they fit me well.  As simple as that.   I don’t shop designer lines and chic boutiques – unless of course I’m with a few BFF’s on a fun day out, and then it is more for the social entertainment value.  Day to day I don’t have the time, budget or patience to go upscale. Give me “my” stores with merchandise that changes frequently, and a few racks in back with my favorite word “SALE” over them, and I’m in heaven.  And I know I will come home with clothing that I will actually wear, and it didn’t cost a fortune.

So perhaps we do need to create our own Real Woman stamp of approval for products.  What products really DO make us feel good, look good, are affordable, or just make our lives easier?   The next time you come across something fabulous, or have your trusted favorites that you stick with, feel free to share.

We’ll stamp it with a big R.W. and our thanks.

 

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Awe and Inspiration

Posted on July 31, 2012 by Real Women

We are all in the grips of Olympic fever.  

Millions of us tune in at every chance we get to catch the next event and to follow our teams, be amazed, and to keep track of medal counts. Never before has it been this is easy to stay connected with the Olympics 24/7.  From extensive tv coverage to online statistics and videos, we can tune in at any moment.  And thanks to Social Media, we can tweet with our favorite athletes and even get spoiler alerts of results before they are aired.  We are feeding off the energy and excitement at any moment.  We cheer on our favorites, root for the underdogs, cry over the stories of personal sacrifice, and cringe with every “agony of defeat.”

The athleticism and style of the Olympic competitors is of course remarkable, seemingly unreal to us “real folks.”  From the synchronized divers, who are leaping from a platform 30+ feet in the air to spin and twist until entering flawlessly in the water in perfect unison with their partner, to the gymnasts who are solid muscle, hurling their bodies through the air with outstanding strength and style…and to all the other athletes in the 300 other Olympic events, they are somehow not of this world.  They truly are awesome, in every sense of that word.

Yet we somehow find ways to relate to these “gods of strength and skill”, to feel like we are making some sort of personal connection, even if we don’t truly know any of them personally, and can not fathom how they do what they do.

Last night, while sweating my way through a strength training workout, one of the other Real Women in the workout said she just kept thinking about the Olympic athletes.  And I laughed, because she was right, those pinnacles of athletic prowess were certainly doing far more challenging activities than trying to get through 60 minutes of a circuit class.  I told her how I had heard a promotional piece, with quotes from athletes about the things they had given up while training. One said he hadn’t watched tv in a year, another hadn’t had a dessert in two years…and here I was, looking forward to a reward of chocolate frozen yogurt when I got home while watching them on tv.

We all have an emotional connection for sure with the Olympics, from the feelings of national pride, to the pagentry and tradition, to the fondness and awe of the athletes themselves.  Proctor & Gamble has produced a brilliant campaign this year as a sponsor of the Olympics, focusing on moms.  I’m willing to bet nearly every woman seeing some of those spots has felt a little “verklempt.”

True, for some of our young people, the Olympic competitors could be providing the inspiration they are looking for to some day become elite athletes themselves, to maybe even compete in the Games of the future. But for the rest of us, the inspiration we derive is of a different sort.  In this world of so much ugly, scary, sad news that we get pelted with every day, the Olympics give us an escape.  We can tune in at any moment to be part of the cheering crowd, to experience the unending energy of the participants,  and to just plain feel good.  Our families and friends come together to talk about it, to watch together, to feel proud of our country, and to feel happy and hopeful for a change.

I think my son said it best this morning when we turned on the tv to catch any updates we missed overnight.  He said “the Olympics feel like a holiday.”

Yes.  Yes, they do.

 

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“Hot Enough For Ya?”

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Real Women

Weather plays an important role in our lives – either realistically, or unnecessarily. 

In our ancestors’ days, the weather truly was a vitally important part of their daily lives, even determining their very survival.

For those of us who are farmers, weather is still a key ingredient in a family’s livelihood.  It can be responsible for the success or failure of crops for a huge population.

For the struggling portion of the population who are homeless, again the weather is a force to be reckoned with every day.

But for the majority of us average Real Women, those who are blessed enough to have fairly climate controlled roofs over our heads, food from grocery stores, and jobs or activities that are indoors, what are our excuses for our fascination with it?

First, weather is that safe topic, easily used for idle chit-chat on an elevator or to fill awkward silences.  There seems to be no harm in stating the obvious to each other , like “sure is hot today” or “I heard it is supposed to rain later.”  It is also one of those rare topics with which it is socially exceptable to disagree.  Some love cold weather, some hot.  And we gladly discuss these differences with smiles on our faces, even if we walk away thinking “is she crazy?  She loves snow??”

The vocabulary we have available to us for the weather is astonishing.  Especially here in New England… in the winter, we have snow, sleet, slush, freezing rain, and what I like to call “sno-cone material”… even the rate it comes down can be measured with terms like storm, blizzard, shower, and flurry…  Really, it all means cold and yucky.  And in the summer, of course, we have various other phrases for discussing heat and humidity – we even talk about real temperatures vs. what it “feels like”.  There is no end to conversations that can be had on this one topic alone.

Some folks truly have a fascination with the topic and become amateur meteorologists.  Heck, for a period of time, my husband was such a fan of the weather channel, he knew the names and history all of the weather reporters as if he knew them personally.  Truly, there is no denying the adrenaline rush, mixed with excitement or possibly fear, in hearing about a storm brewing — as we all flock to check hourly radar maps to track progress and predictions, and tune in to weather reports to see if they’ve changed from 30 minutes ago.

I think when it comes down to it, we average Real Women care about the weather for four primary reasons, or as I’ll call them the 4 S’s: safety, social, schedule and style.

  1. “Is it safe to venture out, or should I stay home?”
  2. “Is my picnic going to be rained out? Do I need to have a back-up plan so my party isn’t a complete bust?”
  3. “Do I need to re-schedule my meetings?  Is my son’s school going to be cancelled?”
  4. And  the most personal and vain reason, the last S:  “How humid is it going to be out – will I have a frizzy hair day?  Is it warm enough to go without nylons?  Do I have to wear my ugly snow boots with this skirt?”

Perhaps at the core of the matter is the fact that of all the things in our lives we like to control, weather is one of the few we have absolutely no control over.  Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen, no matter how we arm ourselves with umbrellas, shovels, bottled water and fans, and how often we watch the forecasts on tv.   No matter our social status, our wealth, our knowledge or our beliefs,  we are at its mercy.

Pretty fascinating, isn’t it?

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Trials and Tribulations in the Little Room

Posted on July 26, 2012 by Real Women

One of the hazards of shopping for any new personal clothing item is the dreaded fitting room experience.  I know some Real Women who flatly refuse to try anything on at the store.  They would rather just buy the item, try it on in the comfort of their own home, and return it if it doesn’t fit.  I appreciate that, but that is not me. The potential of having to drive back to the store for a very likely return is even more annoying to me than the ordeal of trying it on in the fitting room in the first place.

As a general rule, fitting rooms have unforgiving lighting and lots of mirrors. And I swear they run at least 30 degrees warmer than the rest of the store.  Often when I’m clothing shopping, I’m not looking my best.  My hair is haphazardly thrown up in a pony tail, any semblance of make-up is gone, and I’m wearing ugly socks or flats.  I should know better, and plan ahead to look much better – but such is life.  Odds are also good I’m feeling bloated.  So there I am, trying on some sort of clothing item and frequently the result in the mirror is not the best. It helps to take a willing accomplice BFF so horror can turn to humor. This is also helpful when you invariably get “stuck” in some sort of outfit and begin to panic that will you not only have to buy it, but will have to leave the dressing room with it half on and half off, with your head and arms sticking out at odd angles while you sweat to death.

But I digress.

One of the most horrifying personal shopping experiences, one that we all put off until the last minute, and one that really does require going into the dreaded fitting room, is shopping for bras.  (For any men reading this – I apologize for the images I am about to put into your head – because as much as you’d love to think this was a very sexy experience, it is generally the direct opposite.)

Very few of us really and truly accurately know our size.  It is a guessing game at best.  We start with whatever we’ve been wearing, which by the way probably hasn’t been fitting right in the first place, and go from there. Even if we do know our size, it still varies by brand, style, etc. not to mention any recent weight gains or losses, body changes, you name it.

One of my BFF’s was brave enough to share with me her shopping experience recently.  And she very aptly described the kind of ongoing monologue she was having with herself in the dressing room.  It went something like this:

“Maybe it’s too big.  No, maybe it’s too small.  I should have brought eight sizes in here.  Why does it gap there?  That’s going to show through all my shirts.  Are the girls too high?  Too low?  Maybe it’s the wrong brand.  No, just the wrong style.  Maybe I just have to adjust the straps again.  I tried this on four times and every time it fits differently.  I really don’t like this color.  But why do I care, no one but me sees the color!  Well, not entirely true, my husband would really like this color.  Geez, I hate taking my clothes on and off this many times.  Why didn’t I wear a shirt that’s easier to get on and off?  Oh wait, this one’s buy-one-get-one-half-off so now I have to start all over again to find another.  I know they won’t have my size in anything I like.  Can’t I just put them all back and go home?  But then I’ll just have to come back and do this again another time, so buck up, girl, and get it done!”

I’m not sure it gets any better if you go to one of those stores where the ever-so-perky 20-something offers to help you by measuring, suggesting styles, etc.  I had that happen to me in the not too distant past, and she was trying hard to be helpful.  But all it really did was make me realize that my size changed based on style (I need a bigger size for that push-up version, or else my “stuff” protrudes out the side, or I experienced gaps in odd places), which made it even more frustrating.  And when I told her what style I had at home and wanted more, of course she had to tell me “we don’t make that particular style anymore, but this one is close….”

So in the end, when our patience is gone, we buy what we think comes closest to meeting our needs and seems fairly comfortable, with the rather desperate  hope that whatever we take home will suffice well enough that we won’t have to come back to visit the Little Room of Horrors anytime soon.

Happy shopping, and good luck.

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Wanderlust

Posted on July 23, 2012 by Real Women

I have dreams of traveling and seeing more of the world than I have seen so far in my life. I enjoy exploring new areas, and seeing new sights.  I have particular places I’d still like to get to, that are either in the “if we win the lottery” category, or on my “bucket list” of places to see before I head to the pearly gates.  I’d like to be able to assume that my husband and I will be healthy and wealthy enough in our retirement to do extensive traveling.  But one look at our 401(k)’s and I doubt at least one of those requirements will be true.

Nevertheless, I hope some day to travel to parts of Europe, to visit Switzerland, Italy, and England… I’d like to holiday in the tropics, either the Virgin Islands or one of the Hawaiian islands.  And on this continent, I’d like to explore the “other” coast, from the Canadian Rockies to Alaska and throughout California.

And lots of places in between.

I have to admit to some jealousy of people I meet who have traveled extensively. I know some Real Women, even friends, who have logged many miles and visited many lands. Yet conversely, I know many Real Women who rarely, if ever, travel.  Both time and expense are often prohibitive – or maybe they just don’t have the wanderlust to venture beyond their own borders. No matter the reason, I believe that probably the percentage of people who have done limited travel far outnumber world travelers.

So while I await my chance to travel afar, I take great joy in traveling near.  There is that phrase of exploring “your own backyard”…. and I think we often all overlook the opportunities that are available to us within an easy day’s drive of our homes.  I can happily report that I have explored a substantial amount of New England and parts of New York state over the years – places that are all within approximately 5 hours of my house. And yet it is easy to pick out new places within that radius that are still waiting to be seen.

This weekend my family and I traveled only 2 hours from our home, got a hotel for two nights, and had a wonderful time exploring.  Some of it I had visited before but my husband and son had not – and there is a joy in experiencing something again through someone else’s eyes.  To hear a loved one say “wow” or “this is awesome” makes it all new again. And other parts were new to all three of us.  One day was rainy, so we had to alter plans (no beach time) but we still had fun.  The other day was absolutely perfect summer weather, and of course that makes everything even better.

Close-to-home traveling doesn’t have to be expensive either. Sometimes we camp, or do just a day trip.  Sometimes we pack our own food to cut down on paying for meals out. And sometimes we go ahead and pay for a hotel and meals out and make it feel like a decadent vacation, even just for a long weekend.  For my husband and son, it is a change of scenery and bonding time.  For me, it is that, plus it helps quench a bit of my wanderlust.

Yes, those other more far-away places are still on my list of “to do’s”.  But in the meantime, we can enjoy something a little closer to home.  Besides, the added benefit to not straying so far, or being gone so long, is the happiness in my son’s face when we get back and he says “that was fun, but I love coming home.”

And he’s right….there are amazing sights, sounds and places to see….and some day we may travel the world; but Dorothy’s words will always ring true. “There’s no place like home.”

 

 

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Have I Got A Deal For You….

Posted on July 18, 2012 by Real Women

I have recently begun car shopping.

How many of you just let out a sympathetic groan when you read that?

I have not car shopped in nearly 11 years. I have had a long love affair with my Jeep…but have recently had to face the fact that it is time for her to retire, and time for me to find another new vehicle I can drive for the next 10 – 12 years.  As you can tell, I appreciate and prefer long-term relationships with my vehicles.

I have not had a car payment in over 5 years, so I know that no matter what I find, I will experience sticker shock. I tend to find car shopping to be a wee bit stressful and anxiety-inducing, mostly from the financial and big-decision aspect.

One part of it has changed for me, however.  In the old days, I was intimidated by salesmen. Especially car salesmen.  But I am in Marketing. I work very closely with our own sales staff, and a large part of my job requires providing excellent customer service.  At this point in my life, I have a better understanding, and appreciation for, the job of Sales.  I know that a good salesperson will do whatever it takes to close the deal.  I also know some of the other traits that make a good salesperson vs. a not-so-good salesperson.  More importantly, I am well aware that I am a mature, educated Real Woman consumer who has done her research. When I started this process, I may not have known which brand or model vehicle I wanted, but I knew the features that are most important to me and the behaviors I was willing, or not willing, to put up with in a salesperson.

So now for me the interaction with  salespeople has become really rather fun. I have so far been to three different dealerships, and dealt with three different salesmen. (Yes, so far they have been all men, other than one Sales Manager I was introduced to, and she was a woman.)  And each of the three have unknowingly represented different “types.”

There has been the traditional “old school” sales guy, wearing his company polo shirt, with his fairly slick “schpeel”, who didn’t want to talk to me until he wrote down all my contact information and asked questions to fill out on his form.  After a test drive, he sat in the car and went over every little detail, including how to use the Bluetooth hook-up. He was the one who asked me three times “so ya wanna pick one up Monday?”  I of course received my first follow up call from him within 24 hours.

Then there was the laid back, soft spoken, not at all pushy sales guy who acted like he had all day long available to spend with me and my family.  Very calmly and politely let me take two different vehicles out on test drives, answered questions, but didn’t otherwise go out of his way to offer other information. Other than copying my license as is necessary before test drives, he never took any contact information from me. I don’t know if I’ll hear from him again.

And third was the young family man.  Respectful and polite yet casual and easy to talk to, he was very honest about wanting my business but understood I was not ready to make a decision that day. Offered up suggestions on vehicles, talked with me during the test drive. He has dutifully called me once a week since to check in.

I will say, quite happily, that all three passed the big test:  they spoke directly to me, not my husband.  They did not make me feel like an “ignorant woman.”  They were more or less respectful.  And they didn’t make me feel like I had to spend the entire day there or sign away my first-born in order to get information out of them.

I haven’t made my final decision, but we are close.  The final numbers game will still need to happen, and I’ll have the amusement factor of counting how many times the sales guy runs “behind the magic curtain” to talk to the mysterious “sales manager” to come back with figures I might be happy with.  I’m hoping that process will be as painless as possible.

I just hope, in the end, when the deal is brokered, in my Smart Don’t Mess With Me Strong Female Consumer personae, I don’t break down in tears when I trade in my beloved jeep and they drive her out back.  Not sure how any sales guy would handle THAT.

 

 

 

 

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