I’d like to say it is a gradual and subtle shift.  But really, once we realize it has happened, it feels sudden and jarring.  At some point, I don’t know how or when exactly, we all reach a point when the primary focus of our thoughts and conversations evolve around age-related issues.

I’m not talking about fun discussions like “I just turned 18 and can vote!” or “Wahoo, I’m 21, let’s go get a drink!” or even “I’m a grown woman, I can make my own decisions.”.  No, no, I’m referring to discussions about getting older that we all swore we’d never have.

It seems to start with Doctor’s appointments.  We have more of them, more often, and begin developing a collection of specialists to talk about with friends.  “Are you seeing a Cardiologist?”  “Hey, you’d love my Rheumatologist”,  “It took me three months to get in to see my Endocrinologist” and “My Pulmonologist moved, now I have to find a new one.”   When we go see this multitude of “ists”, there are inevitably conversations with the MD or their assistants that include the phrases:  at your age; it’s a common aging thing; as you get older this will happen; most people your age, and so on.  I was talking to another RW the other night (yes, about age and doctor’s appointments) and we agreed that we should turn it into an At Your Age drinking game.  We should keep count of every time an “ist” says that to us, and cocktail hour gets more fun – and perhaps takes the sting out a bit.

This past weekend my husband and I got together socially with two different groups of friends, on separate nights.  Always fun to catch up.  It wasn’t until the drives home that I suddenly realized we had officially transitioned to the It’s an Age Thing world.  Our lengthiest and most in-depth discussions covered the following topics:  retirement goals & investments; ages at retirement; how much money one can make while on Social Security; heart-health concerns; new heart-healthy diets; variety of aches and pains; health scares; activities and new recipes to stay healthy; prescriptions; and which drugs work and which have bad side effects.  The crazy thing is not just that these topics pop up during any interactions, but that  we honestly are 100% interested and invested in the conversation.   When we were young, we’d completely zone out and get bored listening to the elder generations blah blah blah about getting old.  In a blink of an eye, suddenly those topics are fascinating. How and when did THAT happen??

Chicks’ weekends and texts with BFFs include commiserating convo’s about new wrinkles, grey hair, new aches and pains, and how we have officially turned into our mothers.  Just a quick phone call or grocery-store aisle chat can easily launch into discussions around rehabbing  from an injury, feeling stupid about a recent fall, dealing with oncoming cataracts or diabetic issues, and finding the right pre-retirement work options. It just happens.

Those of you in your younger years reading this are likely appalled and horrified. But here’s the good news.  While the Age Thing discussions run rampant, that’s not all we mature RW’s connect about.  We still have animated chats about friends, relatives, fashion, travel, hobbies, adventures and relationships.  What is even better though is that at this stage we all feel the most comfortable in our own skins as ever. We know who we are, and what we need and want. We no longer put up with drama or bullshit.  If we don’t feel like going out, we don’t.  If we want to treat ourselves to a cute pair of shoes then go home and watch a chick flick, we do.  We no longer feel required to include toxic people in our lives, and we understand the value of taking care of ourselves.  Sure, we are dealing with crinkled skin, aching knees and stubborn grey hair that doesn’t take kindly to color, but we have more confidence and peace than ever. And we are not embarrassed to be very real.

This Age Thing that becomes common ground is not a “misery loves company” situation.  It is a form of bonding.  We surround ourselves with others who “get it.”   It may not sound like it, but having a discussion about the best remedy for a sore back and knowing your funeral arrangement preferences makes us feel better. We are not alone in this Aging Thing – if we have questions, concerns or issues, someone else has them too.  

And sometimes the best remedy is grabbing a nice cold beverage, settling our butts down on a park bench and talking it out.   Just keep in mind that if we linger too long, we may need an extra boost to get back up again.