A Curse or a Blessing?

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Real Women

techThere is no escaping technology.  We are living in a world where screens of all sorts are in front of us nearly constantly.   Many of us spend of our work days in front of a computer.  We carry Smart Phones in our pockets, Tablets in our hands, and at home we have Laptops and TVs clamoring for attention.

There are certainly days when I want to run screaming from this constant stream of “being on”…. And I do escape – on a bike ride, to walk the dog, do some gardening, or settle down to read a book.  (The real paper kind, not the Kindle kind).   For our children, screen time seems even more alluring.  There is a whole generation growing up as the “3 screen generation” – meaning they have a minimum of 3 forms of technology in front of them at all times, often being viewed/accessed simultaneously.

Honestly, I believe screen time to be a form of addiction for many of our kids.   Every few months we have to have a discussion with our son because he has slipped back into being “sucked in”, where he is spending literally hours either in front of his computer playing games, watching videos on his iPad or playing his home gaming system.   After our discussions, he realizes he’s been too absorbed and actually feels guilty – like he hasn’t even realized how bad he’s been with it.  He takes corrective measures and all is better – for a while.  It actually seems like children’s imaginations have not disappeared, but have been altered.  Instead of making up games to play outside, they can carry on extensive theories and ideas about alternative universes and characters.   They seem to have lost much of the ability to find “hobbies” that don’t involve technology, and need to be taught how to have non-screen fun.  Their worlds seem to exist for screens and sports…not much else.

And of course I could fill pages of blog space discussing Social Media and the effects that phenomena has had on our culture.  But I won’t do that, as there are a gazillion others already analyzing it.  I will mention one related term, however, that now is often met with disdain:  Texting.  Immediately images of teens hanging out with each other and texting rather than talking leap to mind; or the evils of cyber-bulling fill us with fear — or worse yet, the horrifying consequences of Texting and Driving.   Yes, the world has changed, and one could start to believe in some ways not for the better.

And yet – (you knew I’d have a “yet”…) —  Without this world of screens, I wouldn’t have such an easy outlet for sharing my writing in the world of blogs.  I’d be less efficient at work – for example, I would still be creating marketing plans with a typewriter and gobs of correction tape.  I’d be spending far more time, and gas, shopping for birthdays and holidays…. Rather than taking care of half my son’s wish list in 15 minutes by reaching out to my friends at Amazon.

I was a fairly late Smart Phone Bloomer.  I didn’t think I needed one…after all, I had a Laptop.  Then I took the plunge, and it was love at first click.  To literally have access to the world in the palm of your hand is heady stuff.  And texting?  Oh yes, I’ve grown to love it.   And here’s why…. A text from another Real Woman BFF in the morning about our issues in figuring out to wear, or commiserating over feeling dowdy, can give me the laugh I need to start my day.  Sending my husband a photo of our dog waiting patiently for him to come home can possibly give him a smile at the end of a long day.  Even better is when I’ll get an unexpected text from a nephew who lives 4 hours away just because he happened to be thinking about his aunt and wanted to share something funny, or my Stepson in Florida will Face Time us to show us how his toddler son is starting to walk….it doesn’t get much better than that.

Just a few minutes ago, my son was playing a new song for me that his guitar teacher assigned to him tonight.  He is unfamiliar with the song, so after he did his best to sight read it, I went to my laptop and in 30 seconds, the Everly Brothers were singing “All I Have to Do Is Dream” for us both.  Pretty amazing.

A curse?   Sometimes.  A blessing?  Perhaps.  As with all things that absorb us and take our attention, the key lies in moderation.   As long as every now and then, we pick up a pen and paper and send someone a real letter, or get together in person to talk, laugh and connect, and we get out to breathe fresh air and exercise away from screens, I think we’ll be ok.

The other morning I was driving to work after 3 days of rain. The bad weather had pushed out and left behind one of those rare bright crystal clear days where the air is impossibly fresh and clean and all of the colors around us were vibrant… and I thought “this is a high-definition kind of day”.  The best kind to have.  As long as we still recognize and appreciate that, then we can rest easy knowing that screens will never completely replace the blessings of reality.

 

hi def day

 

 

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Queens for a Day…or at Least Three Hours.

Posted on June 9, 2013 by Real Women

I had the good fortune to spend this past Saturday with my Personal Board of Directors… otherwise known as my BFF’s.  One of the agenda items during our meeting was a visit to a lovely Spa that is about an hour from my house. It was a reunion of sorts, as we had spent a weekend there two years ago to celebrate a milestone birthday.

spa group

We each selected one spa treatment for a bit of spoiling.  For one it was a pedicure, for another a facial…and for myself and the fourth Board Member, we chose massages.  The Spa was very busy with lots of Real Women in search of pampering.  There was a fairly large group of young women there as part of a bachelorette weekend before a wedding. There were mother and daughter teams. There were groups of friends like us.  And there appeared to be just a few enviable women who apparently made these Spa visits a regular agenda item in their usual schedules.  When I commented to my massage therapist on the number of women there that day, she replied “oh, it is usually this busy on a Saturday.”  Wow.

In my little group, we had purposefully arrived a bit early so we could relax in our comfy white robes and enjoy some of the Spa’s other amenities, like the whirlpool, relaxation room, or lovely gardens.  The treatments were wonderful.  During my massage, I had kinks and knots worked out that I didn’t even know existed. I could have used a giant spatula to scrape me off the table when it was over.

For at least a half an hour after our treatments, the four of us just sat outside, not saying much at all.  We were enjoying a rare moment of complete relaxation.   As I watched other women padding around calmly and happily in their robes and flip-flops, I realized how much we all need this.  We were all willing to do what we believed we couldn’t “afford” to do… we some how found the funds to pay for the services, and we somehow arranged time in our crazy schedules to be there for those hours, or those days, depending on our length of stay.

Perhaps the actual services themselves aren’t really the point. Certainly, we could survive without perfectly polished toes, we could get by without clear and glowing skin, and we can function without having our muscles and joints worked out.  The importance of the Spa treatments is just that – we, Real Women, are the ones being treated.  We spend our lives beating the clock and taking care of others.  For the short time we are at the Spa, we are the ones being taken care of. We are being treated like royalty, we are being waited on, spoiled, indulged and pampered.  For those hours, we are in a safe and extraordinarily comfortable and relaxing environment.  The rest of the world melts away – even if it is for just those 50 minutes while lavender and jasmine oil is being rubbed on our skin and the soothing spa music is flowing over us.

We walk away changed, refreshed, relaxed and rejuvenated. Even for just a little while.  And we know that every cent we paid, and every minute we gave up to escape, was worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Our Own Toughest Critics

Posted on June 4, 2013 by Real Women

paper bag headDue to a new initiative developed for our customers, we had new “head shot” photos taken in our office this week.  It is important to keep in mind that out of 16 people in my department, 11 are women.  Therefore, having our photos shot is not something that is generally taken lightly.  As much as we may appreciate the need to have something up to date, we are reluctant (to say the least) to take that seat facing the camera.

The best news of course in modern technology is the fact that images are now digital – long gone are the days of sitting for portraits, having 6 photos taken, then waiting 2 weeks for the proofs and hoping that just one will be halfway decent.  Now we can review a gazillion pictures (if the photographer is patient enough) to select the best one….or, as most of us feel, the least of the worst… and we can demand that all others be deleted immediately.

As I was reviewing my photos, our photographer said “is there something you don’t like about them?”  And I sighed and said “well, I’m looking at photos of myself. I will always be too critical to ever say they are fabulous.”   As the morning progressed, and more of us had our photos shot, we started congregating around the screen to review them together (because we are women – we need at least 3 opinions before making a decision).  I was struck by how truly critical we are of ourselves.

The comments we were hurling around went something like this:

“When did my face get so round? I look like I have pockets of fat all over my face.”

“I miss the days when my skin looked smooth and flawless.”

“Today is rainy, so I’m having such a bad hair day.”

“Can you photoshop out my wrinkles?”

“Yikes, do I really have that many lines in my face? “

“What is going on with my eyes?  One eyelid droops lower than the other. It makes me look crooked.”     (This last one was my contribution. I spent the rest of the day wondering if I should walk around holding one eye open further to train it match the other better.)

In stark contrast, when we all made comments about each other’s photos, this is what we heard:

“You look so pretty with your hair down like that.”

“Oooh, you have to use that one, it is a great shot!  You look more like you in it.”

“Your smile is so nice there.”

“You know, you look better in the one he didn’t re-touch.”

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could start seeing ourselves the way we see others?  When we look at other people, we look at their whole face as one image.  We “see” their personality.  We don’t pick out imperfections.  We instead notice outstanding features, like a welcoming smile, twinkling eyes, or amazing hair color.  We see beauty.

What a shame that we don’t have the same viewpoint when we look in the mirror, or turn the camera on ourselves.

As I was walking into the studio, I made a derogatory comment about having my photo taken.  Our photographer said “Think of it this way. In 20 years, you are going to look at this photo and wish you still looked that good.”   You know what? He’s right.  Let’s all be glad we are vibrant Real Women and try to see ourselves the same way we see others.

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The Road Not So Easily Traveled

Posted on May 30, 2013 by Real Women

bagI used to travel for work much more than I do now.  I was never one of those rarely-home-always-on-the-road kind of travelers, but I have put in my share of miles in the past.   I can’t say as I really miss it much – I do miss some of the places I’d see and people I’d visit, but otherwise I’m not upset that I’ve given up the “glamour” of the road to be able to drive 15 minutes to my office each day.

Once in a while, however, the opportunity to travel pops up again.  And I’m discovering that either because of age, or being out of practice, I’m just not as good at it as I used to be.  I don’t mean that I don’t know how to do it – I still know how to pack, I have no issues with various modes of travel, staying at hotels, even coordinating things back home while I’m away – those are all Real Woman skills that last a life time.  No, the change now is more a personal/physical one.

This week I had a short overnight trip for a planning meeting with some co-workers and associates with our marketing agency.  As trips go, this one was a piece of cake.  I carpooled with a co-worker who nicely did all the driving.  The distance was not extensive.  (Although I will say the traffic was rather ugly; if I had to commute through the NYC/NJ Metro area on a daily basis, I’d have to take anti-anxiety meds).  We stayed at a nice hotel, met in a comfortable conference room, and were treated to dinner out and lunch brought in.  I greatly enjoy spending time with the people we were meeting with.  Not a bad jaunt.

However….  When I was younger and traveling more, I could much more easily handle a few aspects of this type of trip.  For example, in those days I had no problems with the challenge of eating away from home.  It didn’t really matter if I had a few days of unhealthy food, or indulged a bit too much.  If we had a social evening out, I could eat late, have a few adult beverages, stay up past 11:00, and the next day only feel a bit tired.  Now I suffer from food hangovers.  I carry Tums in my overnight bag.  If I’ve had a couple of drinks and dinner didn’t end until near bedtime, falling asleep is a challenge, and the sleep itself is interrupted by hot flashes and weird dreams.

Then there are the aches and pains of sleeping in a foreign bed and sitting for long periods of time – either in a vehicle, or in meeting room chairs.  If I have any prayer of avoiding some discomfort, I take advantage of the hotel fitness center, and try to get up out of my chair during a meeting as often as I can without being rude.  Today, about half way through the day I was considering starting a new trend where after lunch, all chairs in a room should be removed, forcing participants to stand and roam while carrying on the meeting.  My guess is it would be a more interactive environment as well.

By the end of a trip – or perhaps even part way through — my butt is numb and my knees are in pain.  My back has stiffened up.  In short, I feel that somehow during a 9-hour day, I have passed through an invisible portal and come out the other side as my grandmother.  I waddle my way to the ladies’ room to check my reflection and make sure I’m not suddenly 75 years old.

And finally, the other facet that I used to be able to handle much better is the weariness at the end of the journey.  As I said, this particular trip was an easy one for me – I did not do the driving, and the meeting sessions themselves were not stressful.  Yet it seems now that the combination of the use of my brain, the personal interactions, the lack of sleep, and the time on the road generally renders me slightly useless upon my return home.  My energy level allowed only for me to unpack, start a load of wash and catch up on the past couple days of activity with my family.  I had no desire or drive to make dinner, so my husband nicely ordered a pizza – thus of course adding to my food hangover issues.  My mental agility feels to be at only a slightly higher level than that of my dog.  (No offense to my furry son).

So I have made a few notes for tomorrow, listed the calls to return that I just didn’t have the enthusiasm to make tonight, had a few minutes on my Elliptical machine to ease my knees, and have just popped a couple Tums.  To those of you who are still Road Warriors and regularly spend many days and nights away from home as just a way of life, I salute you.  To the other R.W’s like me out there, I think I hear our beds calling our names.

Welcome home.

 

 

 

 

 

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BBQ, Freedom and Appreciation

Posted on May 25, 2013 by Real Women

Like many other Americans, this Monday I will sleep a bit late in my nice comfy bed. I will wake up to beautiful New England weather, and spend time with my family and friends.  I will probably take a bike ride, and if it is warm enough, have some pool time.  We will have a cook-out in the backyard.  Life will be pretty darn relaxed and easy.

Approximately 175,000 Americans will have a drastically different type of weekend. Those Americans are our troops currently deployed in other countries far from home.  They will be waking up in places like Afghanistan, Iraq, South Korea and Kuwait.  Many will spend their days in difficult surroundings, life-threatening, dangerous surroundings. They will not be relaxing with family and friends having a backyard BBQ.  They are thousands of miles away from loved ones, serving and protecting our great country and the lives of others in foreign lands.

veteranflagThey are our husbands, wives, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, friends…they are real people doing extraordinary things.  I believe they, and the Veterans who went before them, are not just like us – those who serve in the military are cut from a different cloth.  They have an astonishing drive, strength, and unwavering sense of duty.  I can not fathom ever doing what they have done. Their families, too, are remarkable – they have bravely carried on, keeping family and home in tact while filled with a mix of fear and pride for their soldier.

Those who have served this Country should indeed be honored every day, not just this weekend.  So many fought and served in a World War, the Korean War, Vietnam, the Gulf War… and so many other conflicts.  Years ago, many had no choice – rather than volunteer, they were drafted…yet still they braved incredible situations with strength and honor.  The ones who made it home safely to the arms of their loved ones can join us this weekend in our enjoyment of this freedom they fought so hard to protect.  But many are still paying the price for their bravery, and deserve any and all support we can give them. And, of course, sadly, so many never did return home, instead paying the ultimate price in the name of duty.  Those Americans are the ones we truly need to remember and pray for today and every day.

By all means, enjoy your weekend to the fullest. Revel in the fact that we live in this incredible Country.  Take some time off from daily stresses and strains to have some fun, spend time with loved ones, and eat your fill of burgers and dogs on the grill.  But at least a few times throughout the weekend, pause for a moment of peace and quiet.  Salute the flag.  Give some thoughts and prayers to our troops – current, past and future.  Send a message, email, text, Skype, or mail to someone either serving far away to show them support, or to a Veteran who made it home from past service.  Say an extra prayer for those who didn’t. And above all, if you are lucky enough to have a Veteran nearby, give that person a hug and say Thank You.

God Bless those who have made it possible for all of us to live free.

 

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Don’t Fight Your Demo

Posted on May 20, 2013 by Real Women

Magazines are written for particular segments of the population for a reason.  One could never create a publication that would make sense and be of interest to everyone.  There is literally a plethora of magazines for women – for virtually every age range, style, hobby and culture.  And as American Real Women, we love having that kind of variety.  We can stand in front of a magazine stand and pick and choose what we might like to browse.

We all know that someday I hope to see a Real Woman publication on the shelf.  But until then, I join in with my other RW’s and select something else for the entertainment value.   On a complete whim this weekend, (read: Impulse Buy), I picked up an issue that I haven’t read literally in years: Cosmo.  I thought it might be fun to see what sorts of articles and ads are in this publication that is so obviously targeted at a demographic far younger than I:  the 20-something woman.   I recalled how I used to read the magazine fairly often in my exuberant youth, so I thought it might be amusing to see it again.  Besides, Sophia Vergara was on the cover, and I happen to think she is a wildly fun celebrity and… well, she’s 40.  So hey, what’s good for Sophia is good for me, right?

I was prepared to feel a bit, ah, mature, when browsing the pages.  I was prepared to see fluff about celebrities (I don’t really care who was seen with who in an L.A. grocery store – although the spread about celebrity dads and their kids was pretty cute).  I was prepared to see fashions that would look great on college students.  I was even prepared for the naughty-girl Cosmo articles.  But what I wasn’t prepared for was coming away feeling not just mature, but antique.

cosmo adBy about the 5th page in, I knew I was in trouble.  This ad encouraged me (ok, not really me, but perhaps a 20-something version of me) to go for “Rebellious” hair color – bright and vibrant purples, reds and pinks.  All right, some women like to experiment with funky hair colors, that’s fine…but when I read “washables and chalk also available”, I said “huh?  Chalk? For hair?  I don’t get it.”   Next was an article about “to die for” shoes.  Now, mind you, I’m all for sexy, fun heels, I’m a shoe-aholic.  But the pairs they showed looked like something out of Fifty Shades of Grey.  I had to wonder if they offered “pole with purchase.”

And the old Cosmo-naughtiness I remember reading when I was younger?  Far tamer than the topics now.  Clearly if you don’t regularly sleep with a guy on the first date or do outrageous acts of PDA in public than you may as well put the magazine back on the rack.  One helpful how-to article explained how to look your best “the morning after” so you look great for the “walk of shame.”  Really?

I was about to set the magazine down when I saw that next up was an article about the “go to outfit” for summer.  Oh, good, maybe I can grab a tip or two to update my look.  Well, not likely.  Their Go-To outfit was a vest and cut-offs.  I haven’t worn cut-offs since…well, since I was about 17….

My last hope was the article on Sophia.  Perhaps I would read fun information about this flamboyant actress, how she got her start, how she feels about her career, her characters….  Nope.  The topics Cosmo hit on with her were about jewelry, girlfriends and her bust size.

I closed the issue, sighed, and put it in the pile to be recycled.  I realized that one can never go back to the magazines of one’s youth.  It only serves to be confusing, unnerving and a bit depressing.  There is no sense in fighting one’s demographic.  Instead, I reached into my bag and pulled out the selection of magazines I had packed from home that were all a bit more my speed:  Food Network, Real Simple and More.

Hello, old friends.

 

 

 

 

 

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I, The Hermit Crab

Posted on May 15, 2013 by Real Women

Real Woman Philosophy #62:  No matter how much space you give us, we will fill it.

I don’t consider myself to be a hoarder.  Nor am I especially messy.  I’m certainly not an extravagantly wealthy woman with a large disposable income to buy trinkets.  Yet, somehow, I have a lot of stuff.  And like the proverbial hermit crab, if you give me a larger environment, my stuff will grow to fill it.  Give me a closet and I will fill it.  Give me a cabinet or cupboard, I will fill it.  Give me a basement storage area, I will fill it.  It does not seem to matter the size.  The home we live in now is larger than our previous home.  It is certainly not a mansion, by any means, but we went from a one-story ranch with two bedrooms and one bath to a two-story colonial with 3 1/2 bedrooms and 2 ½ baths.   Like some kind of wayward magic, I do believe I had every portion of this house filled within a year of moving in.

Does stuff just multiply?  I don’t recall going on major buying sprees, and much of what I have is not new.  But it has somehow magically accumulated in my environment.  I will have binge-moments where I do a major clean out, donate lots of items, throw away bags of stuff.  And for a short period of time I will feel cleansed.  I will enjoy walking freely through my basement. I will enjoy being able to easily find something in a closet.  Then-bam- when I’m not looking, it fills in again.  I know I have help in this – I live with my husband, my son, and a dog, each with their own large quantity of belongings that need to go somewhere.

Interestingly, this phenomena is not just reserved to rooms and closets in the house.  Our garage?  Full.  The car when prepped for a road trip?  Full.  My refrigerator?  Full.  My brain?  Full.

cluttered deskI was at work today, cruising along attempting to get projects done, and I suddenly realized I had done it again – my nice roomy desktop was completely covered.  I had once again filled whatever space I had.  I had sprawled and oozed onto the entire surface.  Now I will come clean (pun intended) and admit that every evening before leaving for the day, I pick up, put away, and re-pile.  Just like every night at home I can’t go to bed if there is a sink full of dishes – I am compelled to take care of them.  I don’t feel at ease unless I clean the house once a week.  So on the surface, a visitor would potentially never know about my issues with “stuff.”   Until they took a closer look and noticed the boxes and piles in certain corners, or dared open a closet door to peer in.

I wonder…do celebrities with ginormous homes actually fill their spaces?  Or is there a maximum size of environment that one has to hit to finally not be able to fill it?  Could it be that they live in homes with empty closets?

Yes, I suppose I could be better about not saving “stuff”. I could subscribe more closely to the theories of Living Simply.  I could not hold onto things for 30 years that I really don’t need.  But what is the fun in that?  Everything has a story to tell, every full closet holds the promise of a treasure hunt.  Maybe instead of feeling like I need to clean out, I should be proud of the fact that I’m apparently living my life – fully.

 

 

 

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If Clothes Could Talk Back

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Real Women

closetSpring has indeed, finally, sprung in New England.  Along with all of the other rituals, activities and chores that flow in to a Real Woman’s life in the springtime, is the inevitable closet clean out and seasonal clothing swap.

As I was sorting through my clothes, boxing up my heavy sweaters, shaking out my skirts, and making a pile for donation, I began to consider what it would sound like if my closet, and its inhabitants, could talk.  I believe it would go something like this:

“This is the third year in a row you will have unfolded me, hung me up, then never worn me. How about you give me away to a nice woman who will actually get some  use out of neon pink capri’s?”

“Don’t look at us. We were happy having just three of us in here, but no, over time you’ve added 6 more… we have no idea why you think you need so many white shirts. “

“Ooooh, she’s putting us back in the closet. Maybe this will be the year that she forgets how much we hurt her feet and will actually wear us!”

“Really?  Again with this?  You know you haven’t been able to button us around your waist in 4 years…. Is this summer really going to be any different?”

“Do you realize you’ve had me for almost 20 years?  Which means I’ve been with you even longer than your husband.”

“I hate to break it to you….but you need to consider giving me to someone a bit less mature than you. No matter how hard you try, I just don’t look right on a middle-aged body.  I’m like an English muffin – I show all your nooks and crannies.”

“Oh, honey….time to drop the winter weight if you plan to be able to breathe while I’m on you.”

“Please take us to the repair shop…you do see that those are nail heads poking out of our heels, right?”

“Oh, don’t put us away yet. It is only May. You may still need long sleeves.”

“Nope. I still don’t match anything else in here.  But I know you can’t part with me.  That’s ok, I’ll hang out until you’ve found a way to make me work.”

And finally, there is the smug but happy comment from the middle of the pack “Don’t worry, I’ll be here for you.  I’m your go-to outfit.  I make you look good.  Don’t you wish the rest of the gang in here was this easy?”

Good thing I can turn off the light and close the door.

 

 

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They’ve Got it Right

Posted on May 5, 2013 by Real Women

“If you can’t eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away.”   — Dog.    dog joy

I’ve always been a fan of dogs.  They were part of our family’s life while I was growing up, so it just seemed natural to always have a dog around.  As a matter of fact, my parents got a Newfoundland the same year they “got” me.  Four children under the age of 10, then add in a Newfoundland puppy.  My mother was either a saint or plum crazy.

Then throughout much of my adult life, my dog contact was limited to those of friends and relatives…. Until a few years ago, when we added a goofy large Lab to our family – and instantly my dog appeal turned into a full-blown love affair.  Dogs add a certain amazing quality to our lives, one that we should welcome. I’ve never really considered it as dog “ownership” —  more of an adoption of a family member.  After all, the next time you see one of us dog-lovers walking our dogs, with a baggie in hand to pick up their poo, you can ask yourself who is really the one in charge.

Dogs are basically simple creatures. As long as their basic needs are met (food, shelter, activity, education, health care and love), they are happy critters.  Not really that far off from our own basic needs.  Funny that.

I have grown to believe that we can learn something from our dogs.  Or, perhaps better stated, we can be reminded of some very important factors of life when in the company of dogs.

Consider, if you will, the following basic rules of doggie-dom:

  1. Welcome loved ones home. No matter whether your loved one has been gone for a day, a week, or several months, be happy to see them when they return.  You don’t have to do the happy doggie-dance and wag your tail, but a hug and a kiss can go a long way.
  2. Be protective and loving.  Generally my dog is a big furry mellow happy dude.  However, if he believes something to be a possible threat to any of us, he lets it be known.  He has “saved” me several times from harmless inanimate objects that he just didn’t like the look of – but I appreciate his efforts.  And bottom line, I feel safe with him.  And anyone who has had a dog in their life has experienced the overwhelming and never-ending supply of unconditional love they give.  Protect and love the important people in your life.  Dogs find this easy to do, so should we.
  3. De-stress.  For the most part, if a dog is confronted with something unpleasant, he will get up and move away from that which is offensive.  It is only when he sees no escape, or repeated retreats offer no solution, that he may fight back.  Couldn’t the world be perhaps a more pleasant place if more of us stepped back, avoided our stresses and reconsidered our situation BEFORE going into attack mode?
  4. Be comforting.  Sure, a dog can’t discuss big issues, but they aren’t afraid of tears or illness, and they have an innate duty to stay close to their humans in times of distress.  Or plop a big head in your lap and pretend to listen.  Sometimes that’s all we need.
  5. Be appreciative.  If someone offers to take a walk with you, take you for a ride, or play ball, receive this offer with glee and an appreciation that this is one of the greatest gifts you could possibly receive. After all, it is — this person is offering their time and attention and wants to spend time with you.
  6. Just be.  Be patient with yourself and your life enough to pause and just be.  Sniff the air on a beautiful day.  Sit and watch the world go by. Experience the sheer joy of a roll in the grass (squeaky ball optional).  Don’t take any of the simple joys in life for granted.

Sure, dogs don’t have the responsibilities that we have day in and day out, so maybe it is easy for them to follow these doggie rules.  But just maybe if we take a page or two out of their playbook, we can handle our daily grind a bit better.  With our ears perked up and a bounce in our step.

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Sure You Can Frolic… But It Will Cost Ya.

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Real Women

Field frolicLike many other Real Women getting through our usual weekday morning routines, I turn on the TV to catch the local news, followed by a few minutes of National News.  (I’ll save the debate between the Today Show and Good Morning America for another day.)  And just as I can rely on my own routine and the timing of each morning chore (get the dog fed by 5:45, son out of bed by 6:10 then out to the bus at 6:50, etc…. you know the drill), I can also rely on seeing some of the same TV commercials every single morning.

There is the local laser vision correction firm that has run the exact same spot for years – long enough that I’m quite sure the toddler in the ad is now in College.  Depending on the time of the month or year, there’s a multitude of car ads.  There’s the local Tractor dealer who has pumped up his ad spend for springtime.  Or of course Dunkin Donuts is on, telling me how they can help me run.  However the most frequent and frightening ads of all are from the drug companies.  It seems there are more and more pharmaceutical ads each morning, encouraging us to pop yet another pill to cure our allergies, our sleep disorders, our arthritis, our aches and pains, our depression and yes – even our sexual dysfunctions.

I will pause here to say that I am completely blessed, and lucky, to have very good health.  The only “medicines” I take on a regular basis are vitamins… and occasionally an Aleve or Advil for muscle aches or sinus congestion.  I have never had to take a sleep aide, I have no ongoing health issues, I don’t suffer from massive allergies….I really do realize I’m in a minority and am thankful every day for it, because I understand there are many folks out there who do need some medical assistance to get through their days pain-free.  And I’m certainly not referring to the very serious health problems and diseases that far too many people face – we can all be thankful that there have been such advancements in medicine to help treat those who are very sick.

All that said – after listening to these morning ads, I sometimes wonder if the potential side-effects and issues the medicines can cause are worth taking them in the first place.   In every commercial, after the lovely images of a couple walking on a beach, or a butterfly floating through the night sky, or a parent playing catch with a child, there inevitably is a voice-over by a person who sounds like they’ve had far too much caffeine…. and within 10 seconds, that voice has basically just said “it will either cure ya or kill ya.”

Let’s take a look at a couple examples.  Got allergies?  Well, you could try taking Alavert…. Just be sure to give your doctor a ring if you experience difficulty breathing, have facial swelling, uneven heart rate, jaundice or seizures.  But apparently don’t worry too much if you have “less serious” issues like headaches, nervousness, nosebleeds or blurred vision.  Those are par for the course if you want to be able to go out and frolic in the garden.

Are you unfortunately one of the apparently large group of folks who suffer from joint pain or Fibromyalgia?  (which, by the way, is another word I’d never heard until these ads informed me of its existence).   Well, Lyrica apparently can make you feel better – unless of course it causes you to experience behavioral changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, muscle pain (wait, isn’t it supposed to stop that?), easy bruising or bleeding, loss of memory or tremors.  Yikes.

And asthma?  Oh, my.  Something like Symbicort could help you breathe easier… Unless it doesn’t. Because one of the side effects could be worsening asthma symptoms. Huh?   If it does help, then you only have to be concerned about your run-of-the-mill chest pains, fevers, chills, nausea, dangerously high blood pressure or mouth sores.

Oddly, as I listen to many of these drug warnings, there seem to be some that are quite common across the board – things like blurred vision, headaches, swelling of various body parts, digestive issues and mood swings.  Doesn’t seem to matter what the drug is, or what it is treating, you could most likely look forward to at least one of these.

Call me crazy, but it just really makes me wonder if the initial problem is any worse than the potential other issues you could have in trying to find relief.  It has gotten to the point that listening to these ads has become a game for my son and I – he counts how many side effects are listed, and we pick out the worst one and compare it to what the drug is suppose to be treating in the first place.

Perhaps the pharmaceutical companies should just re-work their messaging, and rather than throwing the scary stuff in at the end of the spot, they could run through it quickly and quietly at the beginning and then end on a high note.  Like:  “(You might lose the use of a limb or go into a deep depression, but) boy your skin looks great! “   Or “(Your heart will pound, you won’t be able to see and you’ll be nervous and edgy, but) enjoy a long walk through an open meadow of blowing pollen and breathe easy!”

Hmmmmm…. no thanks.

 

 

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