There’s very little in life that is guaranteed. Some days, as a matter of fact, it seems that whatever is the opposite of your intended result will be the inevitable outcome. Or, put more simply: Murphy’s Law.
I’m not a big fan of Murphy’s Law, because it is overall a really pessimistic view on life. Yes, sh-t happens. But that doesn’t mean that whatever can go wrong, will. Rather, I think we are surrounded by simple truths, that no matter how hard we try, we can’t always be in control of what happens around us and to us. And in the life of Real Women, there are some fairly tried and true rules that no matter what we do, we are destined to experience them. We all know these truths, yet we all keep plugging along hoping for different consequences. Here are a few examples:
- Whenever you start to put a fitted sheet on a bed, 99% of the time you’ll be trying to put the short end on the long side, or vice versa.
- When you most want to make a great impression, you will have a bad hair day. Yet when you are home all day doing chores, you’ll have a fabulous hair day.
- You will always be the one to replace the toilet paper roll, refill the soap dispenser, and clean up whatever exploded in the microwave.
- On Day 3 of your diet, someone near you will eat a delicious gooey piece of pizza, a chocolately brownie, or a decadent ice cream sundae.
- You will go weeks with no special events in your life, then will suddenly have a series of activities that all conflict on the same date.
- When you are in a hurry or running late, you will be further delayed by a wardrobe malfunction, child or pet incident, traffic jam, or spilled coffee.
- You will be dressed frumpy with messy hair and no makeup when you run into an ex, a work associate, or one of those unreal women who always manage to look amazing.
- Child or pet illnesses will happen between the hours of 2am and 4am.
- Your odds are 80 – 1 that you will walk into a room and forget why, at least once a day. You will remember only after you’ve already turned around and left the room.
- Similarly, you will misplace your glasses, keys, or phone. 75% of the time, the “missing” item is in your hand or in your purse.
- Those new adorable shoes you bought because you just had to have them, the ones that felt great during the try-on in the store, will leave red indents in your feet or give you blisters upon the first wearing.
- When trying to shake down the last of the ketchup, mustard, or salad dressing, a wayward glob will fly out unexpectedly and land on your shirt.
- As you are putting your eye makeup on, a news story or sappy ad will come on tv and make you cry.
- When you feel like you are at capacity level of all that you can handle, something else will be added to your pile.
Yes, we experience all of these things and more, and yet we keep on ticking, responding as needed by cleaning up, cursing, comforting or crying. Because we are strong. We are stubborn. And most importantly, we have my favorite RW Law of all: When we least expect it, but most need it, someone is going to make our lives just a little easier or nicer with a kind word, a helping hand, or good advice…. and it will give us the hope that things will be different.
Like maybe next time we’ll get the fitted sheet going in the right direction on our first try.
Well, that’s a bummer. This weekend I grabbed one of my favorite pairs of summer shoes and slid them on before heading out the door. You know the kind, a little worn but still cute, comfortable, perfect size heel, goes with everything… your go-to shoes that you hope will last you forever, the ones you pick over most of the others in your closet.
I will admit that over the winter, I discovered that the heel on a pair of my boots had started to peel, leaving an ugly white patch on a supposed-to-be black heel. Since I wanted to wear the boots that day to work, I got out my trusty black Sharpie and colored the heel back in. And you know darn well those boots are still in my closet, not professionally repaired, still sporting my MacGyver-esque Sharpie technique. Oh, now, come on, don’t tell me you’ve never done the quick last-minute cheats of pinning up a loose hem with tape, using a safety pin when a button has fallen off to keep your pants up, or colored in a shoe scuff mark with a marker? Lack of time and urgent necessity requires R.W. creativity.
Aaaahhh, Spring has sprung. The time of year when everything gets green and starts blooming, the days get a bit longer, the temperatures warm, bunnies are hopping, and….. allergy sufferers are cursing pollen, our to do lists get even longer with the addition of outdoor projects, and we are ALL on diets. Kermit was right, it’s not easy being green.
Beautifully posed selfies, ridiculously cute pets, adorable children, delicious plated home cooked cuisine, loving couples, gorgeously appointed home décor, and fabulous hairstyles. Swipe, swipe, swipe… yup, it’s my social media feed. Otherwise known as a platform for presenting our pretend perfection.
The older I get, the more I find irony in the phrase that “knowledge is power”, while so very much of life is based on trial and error.
It’s been another long day of work, child care, home maintenance, family issues, yard work, laundry, errands, food prep – you name it. Finally you are ready to climb those stairs at the end of the night, doing all your last “going to bed” activities: putting the dog out, clearing the table and counters, setting out items for the morning, checking on children, shutting down lights and locking doors. Bone tired, you just want to climb into bed, read 2 pages of a good book before you fall asleep…and suddenly you remember. You stripped the sheets off your bed that morning to put them in the wash.
I spent the past week traveling… first for work, then a couple of extra days for leisure and fun. When we R.W.’s go out on the road (or air), we have to live via the mantra of “expect the unexpected.” We do our very best to plan ahead and be as prepared as possible, yet the only thing that is guaranteed is there will be events for which we did not plan, or that are out of our control. For example:
A few years ago, The Marist Poll asked Americans what super power they would most like to have. More than a quarter would like to have the ability to read people’s minds, while the same number of folks wanted to be able to do time travel. Other top picks were the ability to fly or be invisible. Apparently more men wanted to time travel while women were the ones who most wanted to read minds.
I’m a walker. When I was young, that was the phrase we used for friends who walked home from school versus riding the bus. But now I mean simply that I take walks. Virtually daily, I get out for a walk at least once, sometimes twice. In the morning before work, or during my lunch hour, or on a weekend afternoon, or in the evenings before dark – I’m taking my daily stroll. I know there are many of you RW’s who are also out there stretching your legs. Some of you take it to the next level, doing lengthy hikes, climbing mountains, or running marathons. I will once in a while add in a brief jog until my knees remind me that is not a worthy option. Fine by me, I’ve never enjoyed running. But walking? You bet.
Oh look, it’s time for me to grab a couple Oreos, put my feet up, and watch unbelievably remarkable feats of athleticism on TV. Gotta love the Olympics. After the first five minutes, my guilt about curling up comfy & cozy under a blanket while those crazy people risk life and limb to prove they are the best, fades… after all, we each make our own choices, right? And, let’s face it, those athletes are not normal people. They are, with all due respect, freaks of nature.
Real Women 